Monday, January 10, 2005 6:38am

Good morning Mark.
Good morning James. How was everything over the week-end?
Ok, pretty routine. The side path out to the benches is really icy, like a skating rink, it’s probably dangerous. And the skeleton key isn’t working in the back courtyard doors anymore.
Yeah, we changed the lock last week with the installation of the new intercom box back there, did you notice it?
Yeah.
Anyway, you need to take a special courtyard key to get in through the back door now.
Sure. That’s a little annoying but ok.
There’s something else I wanted to ask you about too…
Ok.
Last week-end, did you notice those black gouges on the seventh floor outside the mechanical room?
Yes, the ones beside the door to the roof right? They’re gone now.
Do you know what could have caused them?
No. I thought they looked like handprints though. Maybe a racoon got inside?
I don’t think so, I’ve thought about it and they don’t look like racoon claws and they were right at the top of the wall. How would a racoon gouge into concrete like that anyway? It had me and the contractors we called in to fix it puzzled and I wanted to know what you thought.
I really didn’t give it too much thought, I kind of just noted it and kept rolling on by during the 3am meter checks. At that time of night, I just kind of absorb what I see without much thought. I don’t think I could get through that patrol otherwise.
I see… I don’t know if I should broach this subject or not but… Do you know that you are the only guard we’ve been able to keep on the nightshift for more than 4 months?
Yes. I’m aware of that.
When I took over the site supervisor position from Matt last year do you know what he told me? He said, handle James with velvet gloves and go really light criticizing him in any way because we badly need to keep him on the nightshift. When I asked him why, he made a strange face and told me that things are a little different here at night and for some reason James just deals with it.
Matt used to rotate on the nightshift before he became supervisor and was put on straight days.
Yes, I know. Look, James. It’s no secret that you don’t do half of what you write in your report during your shift and I don’t care. The fact that you do the 3am meter checks and stay awake is enough for me even though the post orders from the condo manager say otherwise. What I really want to ask you but hesitate to every Monday morning is this: Is there really anything strange going on here at night?
What do you mean strange?
Well… I’m not sure. Like this incident here. It’s really bizarre. I never mentioned this, but when we had the elevator inspectors in a few months ago, they found some damage in the shafts that was similarly strange. Also, before David was fired, he had hinted that some odd things might be happening at night. Chris gave me the same kind of signals before he quit last year too. They were both stubborn when I tried to get them to elaborate.
Look Mark, I’ve got to go or else I’ll miss the next set of busses, I only have a few hours before class to catch a short rest. Sometimes when you’re really tired you just think you see things but I’m sure it was nothing.
James, I was on nights for two weeks. Maybe I’m just looking for confirmation here… I saw them.
I’m going Mark. See you tomorrow morning.

Jittery. Nervous. Fickle. Compulsive. During this past week I’ve been procrastinating into a familiar state of manic self-loathing. I hate it, I feel artificial and churn with worry inside. Over indulging in shallow temporary pleasures such as video games, novels, televised sports, excessive xanganess, junk food, etc. I need to find a way to break out of the spiral. Summon a shred of desperately needed self discipline.

I listened to a Radio Netherlands program on castrati tonight. Some nut suggested that for a serious revival of opera to take place we need to bring them back. The historical sexuality and societal discussion segments were gripping.

Of the top 100 grossing films of 2004, I watched 17. Here they are in order of largest to smallest gross. (Garfield is the stand-out horrible movie of the bunch). Here is the list. It was an oddly enlightening mundane little exercise.

1    Shrek 2
2    Spider-Man 2
4    The Incredibles
5    Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
14    50 First Dates
16    Fahrenheit 9/11
18    DodgeBall: A True Underdog Story
26    Mean Girls
27    Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
33    The Terminal
34    Garfield: The Movie
41    Kill Bill Vol. 2
43    Barbershop 2: Back in Business
48    Dawn of the Dead
63    Napoleon Dynamite
75    Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
90    Jersey Girl

2025 me disclaimer: using terrible, unfunny AI images to replace the missing 2005 screenshots from the Sims. Apologies. It’s awful, but I wanted this post to kind of make sense.

It’s a beautiful day in the neigbourhood, a beautiful day for a neighbour.  Would you be mine? Could you be mine? The reason that the last couple of posts were pretty spartan is that I’ve been playing The Sims 2 way too much. I spent a lot of time adding a bunch of downloaded celebrities to the game as well as making a sim that really looks like me. I actually used my webcam to take a straight on and profile shot so it would be accurate. (no I don’t have too much free time, I just like to procrastinate)

Here I am, Jazzercising in a stylish red tracksuit.:

Since I know I can’t devote anymore time past this weekend on the game I decided on the strategy of, “have as many babies with as many women as possible and kill off all of my man-rivals.” (The game has its own little neighbourhood mysteries you are supposed to unravel and solve but sometimes it’s just better to blaze your own trail.) I used a money cheat code so I could fund my house and death tower seen here:

Now all I had to do was wait for some celebrities to wander along. Look! Arnold Schwarzenegger dropped by to talk about the weather:

So after luring him into the tower, I quickly ran out and removed the door. I left some balloons and Teddy bears to keep morale up. Unfortunately, Arnie didn’t last very long in the tower. The reaper came after one lousy day. And he popped the balloons!

For the next schmoe, I thought I would find out long he could swim (Apparently sims can’t climb without a ladder) He lasted a long time, almost as long as Arnold.

This was starting to get boring, so I thought I would try and keep the prisoners alive for as long as possible. I kindly gave them a fridge, a toilet and shower. I even ordered them pizzas and cooked burnt grilled cheese sandwiches for them. Soon the collection had grown. (that’s Brad Pitt on the toilet and by the fridge is the ghost of some guy who drowned in the pool).

No ladies, I haven’t seen your husbands, this episode of CSI is pretty good though huh?

So to conclude, six homicides so far (including my male maid) and no babies yet.

Why do I procrastinate? I woke up, checked Xanga and just generally wasted time. I finally made a puffy pancake and used that as an excuse to waste even more time. And then wasting more time on other pursuits, had a coffee and screwed around even more. Caved in and played the sims 2. Then watched the Raptors game. Pathetic. pathetic pathetic.

Things to do.
(1) Mail gifts MONDAY MORNING
(2) Mail Applications MONDAY MORNING.
(3) Meet with Bin Ma. NEXT WEEK Prepare a proposal.
(4) CLEAN

My heart goes out to the terminally ill that have to live in perpetual pain. I’m glad I am out of the house and at work now because my thoughts were drifting to the pair of pliers in my closet a little too often.

Ok, last one. I really wouldn’t want to lose my girlfriend to someone named Astounding Man. Looks like Supe isn’t worried though.

2025 me here: I think the missing link was an out of context old Superman’s Girl Friend Lois Lane comic panel. Probably a funnier one than below, but you get the idea.

It was a rough day. I had major insomnia last night stemming from my seemingly infected tooth and stubborn refusal to take ibuprofen. I didn’t sleep at all and Thursday is my major day of classes. Seven or eight hours of lecture. I had some minor in-class triumphs and talked to some new people through my exhausted state, massive migraine and periodically exploding tooth. By the time I arrived home this evening I was rubbing my head and practically staggering. I know I need to see the dentist but I just paid my second term tuition bill and January rent. Brokeified.

It is no secret why I received 13 comments or so today/yesterday, my most since the day after the U.S. election  (by the way, I still puzzle about why I received my all-time high that day. I haven’t even come close to that number of hits since. My bitter rant must have been linked by a popular Liberal who felt my pain.) Anyway instead of physical pacing, I went through a mental pacing exercise of commenting on practically all of the 1979 webring from 3 to 4am. Some of the comments were kind, some were smarmy and condescending, some were funny and the rest were probably nonsensical.

I’m putting another one up because I absolutely love them. Lois is always marrying something.

My tooth still hurts. Not acute anymore but still enough to make life a little unpleasant. Now that an article (intestine/stomach damage from long term use) has confirmed my fears on my coping mechanism ibuprofen, I’m worried. I’ve decided to really cut back and tough it out more. I did a lot of pacing today.

The Canadian rapper and MuchMusic darling, K-Os was at the bar/nightclub “The Drink” tonight (worst bar name ever?). I would have liked to go however, I don’t have a posse of wiggas to surround myself with and make me comfortable enough to attend. Even though I probably listen to more rap music than is healthy,  hip-hop culture doesn’t permeate into any other aspects of my life. I am more at home with a small venue indie rock artist. I feel alright at punk shows too. The drink probably isn’t the best venue for him anyway, I would rather see him in a place like the now defunct “The Shot” (not affiliated with The Drink). I hope the turnout was good though, he deserves it.

In case
anyone was wondering, my relationship has once again entered an
indefinite long distance phase. Merle’s gone back to Metropolis.

I named my mini ipod Luna because she is a beautiful and elegant moon silver. I love Luna. We’re best friends forever. Those white ear bud headphones that came with Luna that you see on all those stupid dancing ipod commercials are super shitty quality. I replaced them with a pair of really nice Koss ear muff headphones that block out outside noise and have a lifetime warranty (I got them for Christmas too). They work really well, I’m going to be run over any day now.

I’ve had less than three hours sleep for the last three or four days and just took a sleeping pill. I wonder if I’ll see any daylight tomorrow. Goodnight.

I’m at work and I’ve been silently contemplating my Xanga habits for the last few minutes. Trying to decide if I should pull back a little, post a little less often. I get the impression quality suffers with daily posts. Maybe if I posted only two to three times a week, it would be more interesting and more of a treat for my subscribers. I feel this way about a few of the pages I’m subbed to and get excited when I see these names rise to the top on my subscription menu with an update. I enjoy the daily updaters too but I suppose absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I feel I can only handle about 10 active subscriptions because I do like to take the time and completely read and consider everything I’m subbed to and leave decent comments. I’m over this number now and am reluctant to unsubscribe from anyone. I like the nice flavour array of writers that I’m subbed to. I had a system for a while where I would write whatever I felt like all day privately and at midnight, reread and make public what I liked from it. Maybe I’ll go back to that.

At a University library, have some time before my next class. Was up all night at work. Came from a lecture that ended an hour early since it was the first of the year. Heavily caffeinated. I have a much different personality when I am exhausted and running on artificial energy. Much more brazen and forward. I don’t pay any mind to that little voice that stops me from voicing my opinions forcefully and boldly opening conversations with people I have always wanted to. I don’t make an effort to hide my Xanga page here at the library. The girl beside me took an extra long look at my page before she left, I wonder if she has one or has seen this page. There is something lost in the translation between my stream of consciousness and writing complete coherent sentences here. Especially in the dream like twitchy swaggering state I’m in now.