“this country is safe again, Superman, thanks to you”

“don’t thank me, warden, we’re all on the same team”

My apartment is an unholy oven of misery. It has been so unbearably hot lately. Too hot for good sleep so I got up after 4 hours and shined my shoes while I watched the original Superman movie while sweating in t-shirt and boxers.

Working nightshifts now. Caffeine withdrawal headache. I can tell. Advil doesn’t help these ones. And it’s localized just so.

It’s night and Thunderstorming now. I shouldn’t post at 5am because these ones always seem too whiny/stupid/dark/inane when I read them the next day.

I’m stuck in 1982. Can’t switch my running music cause compy died.

Nick Hornby has a new book coming out tomorrow, A Long Way Down. I’m contemplating paying the hardcover price. I read a little of the entertainment weekly review and it seems like something I’d like. First I have to finish my current scholarly tome and literary masterpiece, The Pelican Brief by John Grisham. A Deft Potboiler! Kaleidoscope Action! A Megathriller! Unputdownable!

One more hour and I can go home. Gonna get soaked.

My desktop computer died apparently. It won’t start. I was hoping it just overheated and would start up when cool. No luck. So that’s a mystery. Now all the old pictures and music on this site won’t work because they were all hosted from there. My angry monkey synopsis was typed from the University Community Center on my laptop. So I’m cut off from cyberspace at home.

And now I’m stuck here at work on Friday night. Good times. Woohoo. Yeehaw. I felt like going out tonight too. While at home today, I listened to campus radio where they announce all the local live music shows. I could go for some of that right now. Earlier this week I went out to a bar for the first time in a while and it felt pretty damn good. I feel I could get sucked into the local music scene easily. So it’s good that this job puts the reigns on that I suppose. It helps to grow the funds in my “run away and hide from Merle at the end of the summer” account.

Anyway, it was a pretty crummy day but had some highlights:

(1) I bought a pair of super spiffy shades to replace my broken ones. Almost the same style but smaller, sleeker and darkly mirrored. Nice and cheap too.

(2) I was sexually harassed by my female butcher. (I don’t think I’ll ever be able to ask for hot Italian sausage with a straight face again….)

(3) My Dwarfdom comic arrived.

(4) I bought some stylin’ softboot K2 inline skates in a clearance sale at sportsmart. I was debating whether to buy a mega cheap pair for twenty bucks at a department store or a nice pair like these ones for more. The sale and excellent salesperson cinched it. He looked just like Scooby’s Shaggy and called me dude. I liked that. The skates were incredibly soft too. I’ve never put my feet into anything so comfortable in my life. I had a foot orgasm right there in the store. Shaggy knew his stuff. That said, it’s clear I’m going to kill myself wearing them. For a kid who lived on ice skates growing up, the shaky, tentative skate I did on the way home was most humbling. I WILL learn these things though.

.

The National Geographic June monkey is a mustached tamarin. His body is all black except for a cute and furry white face. Very adorable, yet obviously distressed. He is leaning forward on a tree stump, mouth wide open, locked in an angry yell. I know just what he is thinking, “My super cool sunglasses broke. So did my desktop. I’ve got superglue all over my fingers. All the good donuts were taken and my morning kiwi was soggy and putrid. Now everyone better stay the hell away from my tree stump or I’ll bean you with this acorn!”

Despite having an abundance of interesting post fodder, I’m doing this instead.

I’m going to play the game on lizamae’s page because it seems
fun, vain or not.

Open your MP3 player. Put all your music on random. Write down the first ten songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing. Add what each song makes you think of.

(1) Built Like Alaska – Controlled Climate

Dog sledding vegetarians.

(2) Duran Duran – Save a Prayer

The fedora in the Hungry Like the Wolf video. I want one.

(3) The White Stripes – Little Ghost

Dancing at Old Fort William dressed as a voyageur.

(4) The Temptations – You’re My Dream Come True

Not Merle.

(5) Doves – The Storm

Pretty avant garde and ethereal. Alice in Wonderland

(6) Rozalla – You Never Love the Same Way Twice

Liberating bunnies from the lab.

(7) The Odyssey – Lecture 3 – A goddess and a princess.

Odysseus bursting out of the bushes naked and running toward Nausicaa yelling gibberish, arms flailing wildly.

(8) Mary Wells – Operator

My phone bill. Boring but true.

(9) RZA, Inspekta Deck – Freestyle

Gold teeth and malt liquor.

(10) Reflex – 18

Luftballoons.

20 Questions to a Better Girlfriend
	Your girlfriend score is 49. That girl is poi-sooooon–and I thank you for letting me slide in one more kickin’-it-old-school hip hop song. That means one of us is having a good time, and that one is not you, because you are burning in a lake of fire every moment you’re with this woman. Please, please, run away from her. You are one Miller Lite away from a Judge Joe Brown episode.

20 Questions to being a Better Person
	Your score as a human being is 81.25. You are close to ideal. So close, and yet so far. Amusing, really, to watch someone squirm so close to the vaunted ranks of perfection and still remain so very, very ordinary. It is all one can do to keep one’s ingratiating smile from polluting one’s perfect face.Actually, one recommends you take the quiz again and lie a little.

20 Questions to a Better Personality

Wackiness:

70/100 Rationality:

40/100 Constructiveness:

64/100 Leadership:

84/100 You are a WECL–Wacky Emotional Constructive Leader.

This makes you a People`s Advocate. You are passionate about your causes, with a good heart and good endeavors. Your personal fire is contagious, and others wish they could be as dedicated to their beliefs as you are. Your dedication may cause you to miss the boat on life’s more slight and trivial activities. You will feel no loss when skipping some inane mixer, but it can be frustrating to others to whom such things are important. While you find it difficult to see other points of view, it may be useful to act as if you do, and play along once in a while. In any event, you have buckets of charisma and a natural skill for making people open up. Your greatest asset is an ability to make progress while keeping the peace. Of the 125997 people who have taken this quiz since tracking began (8/17/2004), 6 % are this type.

I worked late tonight and am burned out. Since I’ve worked nightshifts only for such a long time, I’ve forgotten how quick and dynamic the pace is during the daytime. I did it for seven straight days, so it’s good to be home. Even if I’m tired and subdued. Off for a few badly needed days now. Tomorrow night, I actually have some fun plans, for a change.

I like my little ninth floor apartment. I keep it neat and cozy. The view out the balcony windows is soothing. Despite being located firmly inside the city, looking out, all I see is a leafy forest of deciduous trees and the Saugeen river. It’s an illusion of true wilderness that I would appreciate more if I ever wore my glasses. The building is filled with quiet foreign grad students. So in the summer, when many go home, it’s especially quiet and a little dull. The north end of the university is more like a deserted recreational park than a campus. That’s ok though.

All day, it rained and summer stormed intermittently. So now, I’m feeling uninspired but content. Dark and cool. I played Moon Theory while I cooked some Pad Thai. If my body decides to absorb any of it as energy, I’ll run a little later. Running on nights like this is the best. The sky is half overcast, half stars and I love the possibility of warm summer rain.

Working on my resume is so boring. I’m bored. Bored bored bored. It’s good that I’m doing it on company time I suppose. I work dayshifts all stinking week-end. The novelty of dealing with the daytime crowd is wearing off. I guess being back on days has involved some fun incidents though. I’ve had interesting conversation with a few of my favorite residents. There is a cognitive psych prof who I have excellent banter with. I bested him on the phone yesterday with my sassy wit and left him laughing and blubbering. Haha! I win again old man!

What else… Yesterday, I saw two old ladies throwdown in a lyrical showdown. Right here in the lobby, snooty Mrs. Dinnmore confronted poor old Mrs. Covey and called her rude, a bitch and a sow. How can you call a little old lady with a walker a sow? That wasn’t nice at all. Mrs. Covey is probably a hundred. She was also the one who brought me ice cream the other day. Mrs. Covey came right back with some vicious freestyle though. She pretended to not know who Mrs. Dinnmore was and acted like this crazy woman didn’t belong in the building. Amusing.

Yawn yawn yawn. I’m hungry. While I was away from the desk earlier, an anonymous individual left some chocolate cake for me. It looks like a tasty specialty one too. I’m going to eat it now.

Well well well. Here I am. 2:49AM. Drinking my second or third Trois Pistoles. 9% alcohol beer which is like two Canadian Beers which is like 4 American Beers. But not really because Canadians do it by weight and not volume or vice versa. Weightlifted and now beer and anime. Except I have no good anime. Just Love Hina and Azumanga Daioh which are ridiculous. I want some samurai anime. but no luck. Soon I guess. I think I’m going to move to Vancouver. I’ll show up at my little sister’s studio apartment with a futon matress and some blankets. She’ll love that. I’m on afternoons now. Nights only 1/3rd of the time. Sauna using, billiards playing, TV exercise room watching, nap-time taking freedom time is cut. Which is ok. Afternoon shifts are ok. Therapeutic and fun. Chipper and charming now. The old ladies love me. Got some free ice cream today from the oldest one. Caramel Vanilla. YUMMMY. I look better too. No more racoon eyes. Energy and bounce. Sugar sunshine and caffeine make me happy. I’m going to make my Polish friend golf with me. And I’m going to get some roller blades. And a job soon. Probably not Toronto. If it’s going to be the US I’ll need someone to act out the plot of green card with me.

I had a dream this morning that I was Bud Dwyer’s son. And I was phoning him the night before his final television appearance. I knew what he was planning to do and was doing my best to talk him out of it.

I, I live among the creatures of the night. I haven’t got the will to try and fight.  Another day, another 4-something-am. I just had a nice two hours of lying in the darkness rolling around. You know, if I was Tyler Durden, my Edward Norton would wake up each morning wondering how all his laundry and dishes were getting done because instead of setting up fight clubs, all my Brad Pitt does is clean. I’m living in the forest of my dream. I know the night is not as it would seem.

Maybe I’ll try making that tea. I know nothing of tea though. What’s caffeinated or what…. all right, found a pouch of sweet apple cider. Sounds soothing enough…. I shocked my grandparents (Nana and Papa!) this evening by phoning them. I’m rotten at keeping in contact with my family and am totally undeserving of the star status I enjoy within it. I called because I finally found out that I am officially graduating. (there was some concern due to a class I dropped first term blah blah blah) My grandpa was more excited when I told him that I was seriously considering getting back into hockey though. He still plays in hockey tournaments and seriously weightlifts. He’s in phenomenal shape. Nana informed me of the existence of cousins I never knew I had and all kinds of stuff only the matriarch would know. It was good to call. Now that I’m on a roll, maybe I’ll surprise some old friends this week too. (Yes, I consider one call a roll.)

Doesn’t tea ever cool down? My sensitive lips can’t handle this. I just tried to name all my first cousins and scored seven, maybe eight, out of eleven. Not too good. On the plus side, the tea is delicious. The soothing action, action, action probably isn’t working though. Maybe I’ll go scrub the tub. And by tub I mean penis. No I don’t. What is wrong with me. I need sleep, that’s what.

Insomnia is becoming a real problem. I suppose if I’m going to be up all night I might as well get some chores done. My thoughts are muddled and erratic. A coherent post isn’t in the cards tonight.

You know what else? Shangri-La Dee Da is the only STP album I don’t have or listen to. So, I never knew, but just found out there’s a song called Bi-Polar Bear on it. The quote I used references the pilot episode of The Tick. How’s that for a coincidence?