I’ve made a decision to rededicate myself to music.

I’m not going to start learning to play an instrument (although I still hope that at some point I’ll learn the piano).

Podcasts have taken over my life. Up until this morning I used to love them. The passive learning is wonderful. That flowing stream of knowledge gobbles up time at work. It doesn’t make you feel like your life is wasting away while doing a menial task. Marketplace, Quirks and Quarks, This American Life, The B.S. Report, ESPN’s Pardon The Interuption. Savage Love, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me… all fun, interesting, and fantastic ways to burn away the day.

But.

It’s infoporn. And I’m addicted.

When do my thoughts get to navigate my neurons? They are subjugated too often these days. My focus is terrible. I want change.

So the music. It was a track by Rob Szabo that I heard on a CBC radio podcast that has changed my mind (irony!… I think). It’s a beautiful song (Good Son), the type I used to lilsten to all the time when I felt my life was more under control…. that’s a lie…. back when I was happier….. another lie probably.

I just want to recover some focus and clarity. When I listen to music, it’s more me. And my music tends to be melodic, fun and/or literate, usually thoughtful and beautiful. It blocks out extraneous noise and coaxes my consciousness out and provides a soundtrack for clarity. Silence would be better I suppose. But maybe I’m not quite ready for that yet. Maybe this is just a misguided Sunday morning musing. Getting back on top of the indie Canadian music scene may not be the answer to my anxiety. It could just be an attempt to emulate my younger self… but you can’t unlearn experience.

But knowing myself, I feel that it should be a significant shift in a positive direction. The right thing to do right now.
this a futile Sunday morning musing.