Today I let my parents know that I broke up with ******. I called from the lab. Everyone took off early because its Friday afternoon and there was a snowstorm as well. I like talking to people from our large empty lab. Maybe because it’s my little zone of order and logic. Home is my zone of sloth and sleep.

My mom was supportive and positive. My dad was bummed out. I think I expected the opposite.

After the conversation I walked home ruminating on my dads reaction. It makes sense I suppose. He has two children. I’ve had been with ****** for nine years. He’s over fifty and ready for grandkids. What differs between him and my mom is that he was adopted. His only blood connection is to me and my little sister, ******…. and she’s a lesbian. That isn’t an issue in our family and he’s very accepting and I know he would never say it, but if ****** adopted, it wouldn’t be the same as if she or I had our own child.

I think it was him that once said to ******, “I’m very glad that ***** has you with him.”

Evolution ensures that the horniest fit humans survive. Now I have the extra pressure of guilt pushing me to procreate.

I’m trying to figure out how to date.

I joined an online dating service and put up some pictures that unintentionally make me look like a rugged outdoorsy traveling all the time action adventure guy. I’m in a kayak in one with a big toothy grin, I’ve got parrots behind me and scuba gear on my shoulder in another, I’m berry picking in another.
Now I’m receiving electronic winks but haven’t figured out how to respond. I boldly returned one wink yesterday. She shot back an email and I don’t know what to do. So inept and hesitant. and lazy. damnit.