On Thursday I spilled a crystalline chemical all over the tissue culture lab bench and floor. It’s used in gram staining and as an indicator in a bacterial test I do. Crystal violet. I quickly wiped up what was on the counter into a biohazard bag, then dashed out of the lab to the phone (tracking size ten purple footprints as I went). The safety officer said it wasn’t a significant health hazard. Ditto from my study director, other lab techs.
So after work I set to cleaning it up with heavy duty chemicals. Methanol, Acetic Acid, Dispatch. I was scrubbing hard, sweating, breathing heavy, thinking of Cinderella while inhaling massive quantities of fumes. I did as well as I could but really just made a giant purple amorphous floor blob.
On the drive home I was woozy from the fumes. Online I checked the MSDS for crystal violet. Toxic. May cause cancer. Harmful through inhalation. Use self contained breathing apparatus for spills. Causes tumors in mice. Shaking and enraged. I was in terrible mood for the rest of the night. Irreversible damage may have been done to my young and supple body. It was a jolt out of my routine fog though. I daydreamed of getting cancer at 35. What I want to cram into ten years of life.
I’ve cooled down now. But I wish it wasn’t so. I want that fiery motivation back.
The Ancient Undergrad 
WOW. A really bad day at the office for me is making a numerical typo (8th street as opposed to 10th street) and not discovering it until attempting to use said poorly typed directions after they have been distributed to Kansas City’s elite. I think I’ll take two days of embarrassment over early cancer any day. But hey, you wrote about it with flair. Are you really only 25? …or am I doing my math wrong? I’m not going to to browse back to see if you posted your birthday on your profile or I’ll have to retype all this. As far as getting that fiery drive back…don’t know what to say. I forever wish to bottle that feeling when it happens so I can use it later. I got that feeling working with the exPOWs during Stalag 17. Maybe that’s why some people get married and have kids…when one is inspired to provide for their progeny, it may create a sense of fiery-ness. Don’t know…you just got me thinking. I heard a quote once that went something like…”Do what makes you come alive, because that’s what the world needs, people who are truly alive.”
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Man.. I always wanted to know a one eyed, one horned, flying purple people eater.
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please don’t die. kthx.
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Ouch that’s major sucky. Sounds like me in organic chemistry lab. I swear I’m going to get like, hand cancer. It’ll be a totally new disease and it’s going to be named Celine Cancer. You can totally sue your employer for that though, making you breathe those fumes and stuff. And they should know what’s toxic! Ah wow I’m mad too! Don’t die! No cancer please! Feel better and do some major sue-age.
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The fiery passion…. I wish most of the time that I could be consumed by that. I see people out there who have these dynamic causes and are constantly be fueled by this said emotion, however I never seem to have the feeling for very long myself. Don’t get me wrong, there are things that I care about and give money to, walk and run for, however, there is nothing that I have really dedicated my life to, and that makes me feel incredibly apathetic…
As to the possible early death… shouldn’t we be living life like there isn’t a tomorrow anyway? Document outside of here, and save it, just in case. I hate the American culture of “sue everybody you can” thing, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be safe. SO….. all of that for… yeah, please dont die!
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Of which four haven’t you heard?
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the closest i got to playing with chemicals at work was cleaning. but my evil minions keep taking the cleaning supplies away and clean the office up for me. so i’m stuck in my office all day.
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