On the intercom of a dimly lit, deserted mall at 1:30am, Tears For Fears – Head Over Heels started playing. The crystal clear melodic opening sent a warm shiver down my spine. My pleasant somatic response to hearing something strong or beautiful. Merle had run ahead to a wedding dress display case. She pointed at a dress and looked back over her shoulder with a childish pout on her face. As we slowly strolled towards the exit, I just wanted to drift away and enjoy the song. She broke my spell by demanding an explanation about the movie we had just seen, Broken Flowers. To annoy her, I feigned shock that she didn’t understand completely. That the answers to her questions were so painfully obvious that I was definitely not going to bother answering them, pretending that it all made perfect sense. Which I guess it did. The abnormality is the movie that ties all loose ends in satisfying resolution.
I just read an article by Tom Stein on, “The Price of a Perfect Child”. For the first seventeen years, it totaled to just over $800,000. It includes the costs of things such as a social-skills coach, private tutors, bilingual nanny, private schools, camps and lessons in science, computers, chess, tennis, music, horseback riding etc. Also all the prep courses for SSAT, ISEE, PSAT, SAT blah blah blah blah tests. The cost of growth hormones is even thrown in. But I wonder if this micromanaged child would be any happier than the one raised in an unstructured environment by a liberal mother and hard working secular father. The one that learned to love the unmanaged beauty of nature. In part, because he was given freedom to do what he wanted within very loose bounds. I bet the one raised on candy, horror movies, MTV and hockey would be a lot more fun than the engineered robokid. It’s a safe bet that the 800 grand prodigy would write more cohesive Xanga posts though.
Twelve hours after having emerged from Broken Flowers, I added five or so albums to Luna. Tears for Fears, The Ramones Box Set, Deep Forest, Goldfrapp and The Hustle and Flow OST. This morning was dark and hazy, Sowing the Seeds of Love, Shout and Everybody Wants to Rule the World were perfect anthems for the gloom. I arrived at work and saw that an ambulance was monopolizing the traffic circle space in front of the building, the fourth time the ambulance had come in as many days. I knew who it was there for.
On a shift two weeks ago, Mrs. Cowing, a 92 year old woman with a walker, sat in the lobby making small talk with me. We had a conversation that died out fairly quickly yet she remained in her chair, fiddling with her gloves. Before returning to her condo, she sat there for 30 minutes looking anxious about something. Later that evening, she came back down, stopped directly in front of the front desk and asked me if I would maybe like to have lunch with her at a country club before I left London. It was incredibly cute because she was clearly extremely nervous about asking me. When I consented she replied, “I can’t just let you walk out of life without saying goodbye.”
Since then, her condition has degraded drastically. Her ability to live independently is now lost. She has been falling and injuring herself frequently. She refuses paramedic help because of a fear of being placed in a primary care facility even though she needs it. It’s an awkward situation because this woman’s family no longer cares about her. This morning, a registered nurse convinced her to leave for the university hospital after another injury. I’ve never dealt with a situation like this before and it’s quite depressing. Two or three weeks ago she looked healthy and vigorous for someone that age. Now I think it’s a fairly safe bet that she’s not coming back… hmmm. Sad.
The Ancient Undergrad 
That’s a shitload for a kid. And the kid probably doesn’t deserve it because he/she will turn out to be a little brat anyway. Haha. Growth hormones? Just feed the kid lots of peanut butter and cheese, that’s seriously all my brother ate when he was a little kid and he’s 6’4″ now.
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Oh and about the comment the other day, perhaps I was the one who found you first I can’t keep track of stuff like that so maybe it was me who commented first!
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That IS sad. Thanks for making me melancholy. I think “Slow Children” is topped by “Deaf Child”, although they both crack me up.
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i think it’s amazing that your crappy night job has led to such important relationships. it really shows you that even the simplest and seemingly meaningless things in your life can affect those around you in ways you may never know. how many people have been touched by my life or something i may have said or did? how many of those people do i even know exist?I wasn’t wowed by Broken Flowers. I was hoping it would be funnier. I felt (and apparently Merle and I differ on this) that all the emotion and character development was a little too obvious. it was like,” look, there’s suddenly 19-year-old’s everywhere… any of them could be my son! especially since they’re all wearing similar striped jackets! just like me!” i dunno. i guess the ending was a bit unexpected. but yeah, not going to go buy the DVD or anything. it probably didnt help that i saw it in New York, where movies cost $10.75, so i was already a bit peeved.
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The aging proces is a bitch. Someday I’ll write a private post about my trip home this week (you’re on the list to be able to read those). I did not come back invigorated, that’s all I’ll say. It was good to see my family, but time is not being kind to us as a group right now. I’d listen to my Tears for Fears, but it’s an LP and we currently don’t have a record player. We really need to move along into the 21st Century at some point.
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I love, love, love Tears for Fears.
Strange, we picked up a 92 year old woman today, the great-great-great aunt of the new baby and great-great-aunt of my friend, from her retirement community. She was in fantastic shape–no walker, looked great and fit, a little hard of hearing, but otherwise in amazing shape. The drive to the baby shower from her place was nearly an hour, and we were delighted with wonderful stories. Her husband died when he was in his 70s, 20 years ago. It makes me believe in magic and true love, to see the result of a life well-lived (still living well, for that matter), to hear stories like hers. I love listening to older, much wiser people. It puts silly things like my recent history in perspective. That story about Mrs. Cowing almost brought me to tears. I trust she, too, had a life well-lived. I’m glad you were able to be a friend to her, for however brief a time.
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The kid may be able to write better, but if the parents were that…over protective…would they really have much of a life to write about. I think it’s so stupid that no one wants to let anyone live a normal life anymore. It’s all about drugs and how they improve people, when really…they just tend to make non-people. It’s so stupid.
That’s sad about the lady. To have your family abandon you…I can’t even imagine what that would feel like. Though, I suppose, I’ve sorta been abandoned by mine. Still, it’s a lot different. I hope things work out for her.
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i must admit, my cookies are awesome. I don’t claim to be good at much, but i definately make the best oatmeal-chocolate chip cookies in the entire world. too bad you dont live nearby 🙂
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i just put a comment in the wrong place, i think. anyway, you are far more awesome than i could ever have imagined. yee-haw!
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that’s awfully sweet of you to accept her lunch invitation. i’m sure it’ll mean the world to her. 92 is quite impresive to get by without any major health problems already let alone injuries from falls and other hazards to elderly, sadly though, it sounds like she’s surpassed her peak for old age independence. i worked in a nursing home for a few years. it’s not the happiest place to work, especially when you’re dealing with the grumpiest of grumpy old folks who’re just miserable and basically knocking on death’s doorstep… sadness is all i can say. but such is life, right?
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Someone who looked very much like you came into B&N today. He was very snobbish and condescending. I hope that you are not like that. He also spent the entire time groping and nuzzling his giggly, ditzy girlfriend. Horrific to witness. I hope you’re not like that, either.
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i hope you’re happy. i have the chorus for “shout” stuck in my head.
ryc: that makes me feel dirty. the good kind. hahaha.
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That gives me a tightness in the chest. So sad… How was Broken Flowers, by the way? Would you recommend it?
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I can actually hear the complete beginning of that song… “I wanted to be with you alone… and talk about the weather…” heh, I didn’t even know I knew the words. God they had some fantastic songs!Old people make me painfully sad. Especially when they’re alone. We treat our elders so poorly, it makes me sick. Can you imagine being 90, alone and unloved?
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hmmm…that “perfect child” crap is creepy. it’s just so…anti-human…what’s your opinion on parents censoring what their children watch on tv?
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