Rundown. Tired. Washed out. It rained all day. During my walk to work it was thunder storming. Given my crummy mood, I didn’t mind, it was cathartic. I feel better when it rains on work nights. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on life as much.
While I walked to work through the storm, I listened to a lecture on Brahmin Hinduism, something I had previously enjoyed learning about in a World Religions course. I like to envision Brahmin as the giant bulbous, writhing mass of flesh that Tetsuo morphs into at the end of Akira. Except it’s yellow. And we’re all illusionary projections of tentacles.
So I was grappling with how cause and effect relationships work when Brahmin is everything and all objects are Brahmin, when a giant spidering lightning bolt flashed lengthwise overhead and lit up the night sky. At this point, focusing on the lecture became an impossibility. I put on some punk music and recalled in vivid detail the following five moments in which I was either inside an object struck by lightning or right beside it:
(1) 13 years old. On route to a family cabin in Northern Saskatchewan, riding in the back of a 1979 green Cadillac as my grandfather drove through the prairies. The landscape was flat and the car was hit.
(2) 17 years old. In a Fat Cats pool hall playing eight ball with a good friend. An extremely loud reverberating crack shook the place as the power went out. I was amazed that lightning or electricity could make that sound. It was like a god dropped his giant wooden mallet right on the roof. Really violent. If you are in a place that is struck by lightning, there is no mistaking it. You just know. The waitress brought us candles to play by after the strike. Fun.
(3) 17 years old still. At home, making a sandwich in the kitchen by the window, getting wet from the rain blowing in. The branches of our giant cedar tree were smacking into the screen window cover. I was watching this as lightning struck the tree less than 10 meters away and left scorch marks in my vision for days. The tree splintered violently and was subsequently cut down.
(4) 18 years old. Inside the clubhouse at Chapples golf course. Same deal as Fat Cats.
(5) 21 years old. Third and top floor apartment of Beaver Hall. Sleeping with Mango and Merle at around 4am. I was so disoriented after the strike that I actually pushed Merle out of bed and told her to stay away from the wall because I thought the ten story building (Bayfield Hall) across the road was collapsing down upon us. Poor Mango hid under my cushy chair and crawled up inside of it as the power went out and emergency alarms stared blaring.
So on the walk, I was genuinely concerned. I thought my iPod Luna may have been malfunctioning due to the electricity of the storm. The volume kept oscillating high to low and low to high even though the hold switch was flipped. Also the street I walk down is lined with giant oak trees and the lightning seemed very close.
Yada yada yada I made it to work ok but soaking wet. I dried off in the exercise room, sitting on a gigantic purple ball, watching my all-time favorite Futurama episode, Parasites Lost. The End.
The Ancient Undergrad 
Wow…I can’t believe you’ve been around lightening so much. I’ve only seen it happen close twice. I love rain and lightening. I used to wish it would strike me…but I’ve gotten much smarter 🙂 Though I still love to watch it…
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I’m tired and my feet hurt. You have said it precisely: “I feel like I’m missing out on life” while at work. I couldn’t agree more. But then, life is whatever is happening where we are.. so technically, we’re not missing anything. I just know that there has to be more to this than making endless frozen coffee drinks for spoiled little highschool kids, out running around with their friends in packs, waving 20 dollar bills that their parents gave them. Ugh. It sounds as if you are fated to be killed by lightening. Perhaps you should invest in solid rubber shoes, or something.
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Are you kidding me? That’s insanely coincidental.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: you write beautifully.
And the cut on my finger? Pretty bad. People shudder when they look at it. But at least I’m getting attention.
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Sounds like you have static.
Good post.
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i have never had a near-strike experience. i feel like i’m missing out.
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Whoa.. man, you must be like some sort of lightning rod!RYC: Yup, eating right takes time. I’m forcing myself to that. I’m not one for cooking – baking I do like – but I won’t be doing anything complicated.
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Got your message. Felt like I needed to delete the post it was attached to, so it’s gone now. Thanks for the response. I’m supposed to be entering data right now. In fact, I hear it calling me from it’s box. Bye.
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You must have a strong magnetic or electrical field around you. Do street lights turn off when you go under them too?? That’s freaking nuts. You really have an affinity for lightning eh. Just curious, do you feel any different when something near you is about to get struck? A teacher in like elementary school told us that we’d feel funny. I didn’t believe her.
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Wow, and they say lightning only strikes once! Yeah, some people do have a higher electromagnetic field around them than others, so…be careful.
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My secret handshake involves a sound, too. Can’t tell you the rest, though, it’s a secret.
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the thing is, he’s a fairly good actor, if you’ve seen any of the other films he’s been in. as is Natalie Portman, not that you’d know from the star wars movies. there’s only so much you can do with a bad script. the writing is rediculously bad. as i re-watched the second one, i realized that Hayden actually did an excellent job playing the part they cast him for: a whiney, angst-filled teenager.
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Sorry I haven’t been around in a while. I have missed reading your posts, and am looking forward to ‘catching up’.
Lightning is so awesome, and I mean that in the Biblical sense. It’s power is so assured and is as beautiful as it is deadly. I love rain and everything about it. From the wetness and beauty of a soft and steady mist, to the violence of an all out thunderstorm that seems to bear the likness of God. I am inspired by it, and yet almost always, am left speechless. Whatever it is that rain leaves inside of me, it is deep enough that I fail to express what it is. I have to admit that if I were you though, and the frequency at which lightning closes in on you, I would probably feel differently.
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It’s never the end, there’s always more lightening, and the part more people are afraid of: the harmless thunder
got your crisp five dollar bill today. my brother thought it was play money. And thanks, of course, for that lengthy letter you attached to it. (I always open my mail before looking at who it’s from and it took me a second to figure out what was going on.)
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i’ve heard that the custom of knocking on wood when we hope for something actually stems from a belief that wood is a medium of communication used by the gods. it seems that one of the reasons for this belief was the fact that lightning so often struck trees.
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It must be because of your “electric” personality! HAHahahahaHA HA haha ha haha ha ha *groan*
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Great comments. I’ll return some soon. I started but im tired and braindead now. Yeah I guess Zeus is messing with me.
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