I’m done and utterly exhausted. I knew it would be this way. Empty and phased, not excited and relieved. I couldn’t sleep last night. There may have been a half hour of rest between 4:30 and 5am. The exam I had this afternoon triggered a small panic attack last night when I realized how unprepared I was. So I left my apartment at 5:20am to study on campus until the 2pm exam. Gutting it out with the knowledge that it was the last ever. I think I did alright. Maybe tomorrow I’ll appreciate my final heroic effort.
Merle’s on her way. I don’t even know how I feel about this. Numb. Annoyed. Tired. She’ll want to do all this stuff. whatever. stuff. the stuff is a good movie.
I should clean my lair instead of slouching here despondently. I need groceries and clean clothes too. Bleah.. Got a night shift tonight. I’ll probably return some comments then. I’ve really been pushing my boundaries at work. I’ve been busted by residents listening to Luna. I walk around in my socks, without my blazer, tie loosened like I own the place. I lock people out of the exercise room and watch the cable TV in there. I’m using the sauna tonight for sure. My supervisor knows I do all this too. The residents love me though. I’m untouchable cause I’m everybody’s favorite. How could you not love me. And I’m the only one who deals with the little 4am monsters. I’m watching the Raptors tonight. I’m a pretty big basketball fan and I’m sour the Raptors aren’t going to the playoffs. Tonight they have a chance to spoil New Jersey and Vince Carter’s year so I’ll be pulling for that. It fits my sour mood. Cheering for ruin.
The Ancient Undergrad 
dont tell anyone but vince will be assasinated tonight. my friend is going to the game and hes bringing an assault rifle.
shhhhhhh
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make some pancakes
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Yay last test! Yay good movie! Yay sauna! Yay blazer…wha??? you have to wear a blazer during a night shift???? I guess the sauna and the adoring residents make up for it. I am certainly feeling like a new girl now that auditions are over…I imagine it is kind of like (but not exactly) getting tests over with (it’s been a long time since I took a test however…). The first day or two, none of us knew what to do with ourselves, but we have gotten back into the swing of things. Have a great weekend!
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I take it you’re like an RA or something similar. Our RA’s dont do shit!
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…bite your tongue!! KC needs these buildings to work. The downtown needs a boost in a BAD way.
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I wonder if after you leave if they’ll ever be able to find someone to stick with the night shifts. I use to work as a security guard in Vancouver for a bit. I remember doing nightshifts alone and taking off the stupid clip-on tie and my blazer. We had white shirts underneath and you could see right through them.
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Congrats on finishing. But now that you’ve graduated, where will you ever find a job this good? I’m a bit curious what you originally wrote in my comment box, so if you want to e-mail it to me…..
Oh, and with no real ulterior motive, just because it’s obvious: listen to how you sound when you talk to her, the dread and resignation. End it.
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Hehe, clean your lair already.
Shame on you for not liking TMNT. Are you a true kid of the nineties?
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Please, you’re not a bad guy. Just like to think you are, Maverick.
Congratulations on being so close to done, and I wish you well with the relationship situation. I am just speaking as an outside observer who only has the small glimpse into your psyche and emotions that we see presented here on a Xanga page, but you’re clearly not happy. There is better than this out there, I promise. Don’t let fear of rocking the boat stop you from doing what you need to do. The longer it drags out the harder it’ll be. I hope you two get to talk this week–but no pressure, when the time is right it’ll happen. Keep us posted.
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i keeeeeel you for bad mouthing maugham!
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