I ate six consecutive donuts upon awaking this late afternoon. Why six? Well in Ontario there is a peculiar tax rule that specifies that if you buy donuts individually they are taxed at 15% but if you buy six, then they are tax free. Tim Hortons also gives you a deal for a half dozen. So yeah, I buy six. All sour cream glazed today. It’s late and I’m still not hungry. Ever since I devoured them the thought of eating absolutely anything is sickening. This is my new diet idea. The six donut breakfast.
So there I was, in my now messy apartment still in pajamas at 5pm. Bloated with an incredible amount of sugar and fat, feeling pretty low. I’ve been knocked around so much this week. It rained tonight. I enjoyed the thirty-five minute walk to work. Usually I listen to audio books while I march. I finished a lecture series on existentialism this way. Lately it has been near middle east mythology. Today though, I just put on random music to sift through my jumbled, dark, brooding thoughts. In addition to academia, here are five current reasons for unhappiness (1) I stay with Merle because she represents a safety net. I don’t know if I love her. She will make the rest of my life miserable if I stay with her. It has to end soon. (2) I hate how lazy I am. (3) I miss old friends and my dead cat. (4) I’m not happy with the way things are headed. Things would be my life. (5) I miss playing hockey. I wish I never quit.
I don’t think I’ve ever mentioned it before but most of my classes are graduate level that I’ve been let into with special permission. If my thesis and marks were better I’d consider pleading my case for a masters degree. Stress is mounting now though. Surprise obstacles are popping up, I’m getting my ass kicked in wonderfully unexpected ways. I’m a little piece of coal being crushed in Christopher Reeve’s hand. Sometimes I revel in the adversity. I feel that no matter what and how much shit gets thrown at me, I’ll find a way to deal with it. A mental swagger that continues to get me into trouble.
A favorite movie of mine at about age six was Beyond Thunderdome. As a result my grandpa bestowed the nickname, Mad Max upon me. Sometimes he would throw in “from the Thunderbum” and I would fly into a six year old rage. Also, my favorite wrestler was Jake the Snake. From that comes another familial nickname that has had more stick.
This post is just like my thesis. A mess of poorly explained, incomplete and unconnected thoughts.
The Ancient Undergrad 
RYC: oh, the picture from tuesday is a chocolate koala bear who is holding a bowling ball and sitting behind a bowling pin … 😛
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Hi there. Just posting a comment. Lately, i’ve been thinking back on old friends, life back home in NYC, the freedom of all things around NYC. It’s always ok to reflect back on good memories and to forget the old.
Life is always about cherishing the things that mattered to us, such as for you it was hockey. For me, it was being able to sit in Washington Sq. Park in Manhattan and just read and write a story. Honestly, I get my ideas from that neighborhood. It’s just soooo alive during the day. That I miss terribly. I LOATHE Hawai’i. Can’t wait til our tour here is done and over with.
You take care alright? And do stop by every so often if you ever feel like it. ::shrugs shoulders::
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1) and 2) Sounds like you and Paul need to have a chit chat… http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=PaulisAll. Read his most recent post. What are you…25? Do what you need to do and waste not anymore time being sad~!!!!!!!!!!! You don’t sound lazy, just overwhelmed. 3) Everybody misses old friends and a dead something. I won’t list mine, but I have many dead somethings I miss. It means you’re human. At least the friends are alive. 4) What are you…25? Fix it! 5) Play hockey! Isn’t there an intramural league somewhere you could knock around with? Or maybe you are lacking time since you are juggling school and work. Either way, when school is done, pick it back up ASAP.
I’m done lecturing. HAve a greatDay!
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P.S. Go after that masters certification…if you have the credits, get it while you are there. No matter what it takes or how tired you are right now, you’ll be *REALLY* glad you did so you don’t have to go back and get it later.
NOW I’m done lecturing. Have a REALLY great day. The donuts sound good. I don’t think I’ve had a donut in MONTHS.
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6 donuts at one sitting? i might’ve done it over the course of the whoel day–and still eaten other things are are bad for me.
there’s nothing wrong with walking around a messy living space in pajamas at 5pm. in facnt, i schedule time for it on a daily basis.
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Whoa.. I haven’t done six donuts at once in, well, many many years. It’s just because there’s no Timmy’s down here! Keep rolling them rims! I don’t drink coffee, but I always loved rolling the rims. Rrrrrrim… I should watch what sort of words I like to say at the moment considering my dream from the other night!Yeah! Speaking of which.. *rolls up sleeves* Naming superhero names… *taps foot, glaring and then suddenly grins* I kind of like Pleasurella!Jake the Snake, eh? Confucius say what wrestler you like reflects what person you are. I was a Brett ‘The Hitman’ Hart girl. I have NO idea what that says about me! =P
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Hot Hot Heat eh? i’ll have to look that up. I liked thier old stuff, although not enough to buy an album… i can see they have potential. I’ll check out the new stuff. and you look up the ones i said before… i swear they are all great. I agree that Blonde RedHead is my least favorite of the ones i mentioned. Athlete made a video for You Got the Style that ROCKS… it’s probably one of my favorite videos ever. so find that too if you can. it was never actually released; i discovered it on accident, as i did with all these awesome bands.
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mmmm donuts sound good… although i couldnt eat 6 in one sitting lol, i would proabably pop (i’m 5’1″, i weigh 98 pounds and everyone makes fun of me for eating teeny tiny meals. what do they expect?). damn i’m going to get a donut. anyways… you know, school just sucks ass. I’m right there with you. It’s like a boot camp obstacle course, where they throw shit at you and you either have to duck it, or catch it in a bucket, but usually it just splatters on your face and you have to press on, jumping from shit- splattered tire to shit-splattered tire, and when you get to the end… you face the climbing wall Master’s Program, or the alligator-infested Career Path. and it just keeps going. nvrmd. that was a lame analogy. anyways… dodge Reeve’s hand. even superman cant crush everyone.
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have you tried honey cruellers? they’re soooo awesome
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6 donuts… thats nuts… Your blood must have turned into pure sweet sweet sugar
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hmm… I was flipping through channels the other day bored and not really wanting to do anything productive when I came over a PBS special, and some lectuerate that I don’t remember the name of. He said something that intrigued me and has caused me to reevaluate how I am approaching some things. Right now life is pretty chaotic and sad for me, and I am kinda just “stuck” there for a while. But, this fellow brought it to my attention, that if that is my focus, then what is the momentum (I think that is spelled wrong) for change? Where I am headed if I am not looking for a way to find peace and comfort? I don’t know if this is where your head is at, but I thought it might help.
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Sour Cream icing is nasty. Therefore, your six-donut-a-day diet will work because you will vomit up the contents of your stomach everyday around lunchtime.
I admire that you listen to books on tape. You probably retain alot of it that way, especially subconsciously, which is where mythology and existentialism matter most.
The Five: (1) I stay with Jose because ….. I know I don’t love him, at least not in that epitomal fairy tale way that I’m holding out for. He will make the rest of my life miserable if I stay with him. It has to end soon. (2) I hate how lazy I am. (3) I miss old friends, the way they used to be before life altered them permanently, and my dead cat. (4) I’m not happy with the way things are headed. Things would be my life. Because it’s heading no where. i don’t know what I want to do nor where I want to be nor whom I want to be with nor nothing. And so #2 seems to apply that I will do nothing with no one in a constant state of nowhere (take that, existentialism!) (5) I miss boxing. I wish I never quit.
Don’t bother with the graduate course thing, perhaps you can get it applied to a masters later. And keep in mind that if Superman did squeeze coal, it would come out a diamond. Only I like you edgy. i think your mental swagger is sexy and it’s nice to see a guy egged on by adversity rather than wallowing in defeat. Your more positve than you realize.
Blah blah blah. So i’ve got a manipulative plan, don;’t you know. Here’s how it works: we somehow throw Merle and Jose into one another’s paths and use all sorts of subversive trickery and deceit to make them fall in love with eachother (or at least the images we present of them) and then you and I run away to Brazil or Hawaii together, find odd jobs on fruit famrs, completely disregarding our hard-earned degrees, waxing existential, being peacefully lazy but diligently pursuing less tangible dreams, building a bungaloo high in the trees.
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