I’ve always thought of independence as a strength. And it is… but maybe only partly so.

It’s a trait that aligns with resilience, toughness, security. It implies intelligence and competence.

But also isolation.

Unreachability.

Fear of vulnerability?

Social aversion?

I’m feeling guilty about keeping my parents at arms length. Ditto for friends. It’s worse when you know they are craving more contact, more love.

It’s hard not to feel selfish for not giving more of myself.

I have empathy. It drives these feelings.

Do I need to create dependencies with those in my circle? Why do I recoil at that thought?

Is choosing to allow others to help enough? Even that seems hard.

That feels like a weakness.