I’m too connected to people I don’t know, and not connected enough to the people I know.

This feels like an uncomfortable thing to correct, but I know would enrich my life if I did so. I strongly suspect this has become true for many people besides myself. Friendships are like plants, if you don’t water them, they slowly wither and die. I’m going to be try and be more mindful. I’m good at watering a precious few of my plants, but I want some more. I wonder if T. Bay has a chess club.

The other side of this is the connectivity to strangers. The compulsion to waste time scrolling through the mind sludge of social media. Mildly amusing shit interspersed among ignorance, agenda, and vanity. I wish I had the discipline to just read a book instead of heading to reddit or youtube the moment my head is clear of thought. I know that would make me happier, so why do I always chose the lazier option? Is it as simple as I can never find my Kindle, and that my fucking phone is always on me? No. I think it’s deeper. “What if I deleted the reddit and youtube apps of my phone?” The instant rationalization and mental recoil that occurred in my head after that thought was horrifying.