So….. it’s November 2024 now. Four days before the presidential election. Eleven years since I did any writing to myself in this format. Twenty years since I started this blog on Xanga back in 2004 as an introverted, lonely aspiring University Student. Jesus fuck my life has changed. I’m Forty-five years old now. This post will stand as the first one where I’m clearly not young anymore.

I imported all the old Xanga posts. First thing I did was edits to censor names and identifiers. I got distracted by my old writing. I couldn’t help but get nostalgic for that 25 year old kid. The writing was so self-involved… which was part of the point (but goddamn, sometimes it was so clever and charming too). Why did I start a blog? Why public? Back then, likely some narcissism. Some loneliness and relationship unhappiness. A desperate want to be heard and liked, even if that conflicted with introverted tendencies.

So why turn back to it? Because it feels so much better than a comment on social media. Fuck Reddit. There is upvote/downvote judgment on every comment or thought written there. The partitioning of communities encourages group-think hive minds. My old blog was so much more pure. I want to return to the good parts of what that writing did for me.

If you know me in real life, please don’t read this site. I want to write honest and not fearful that I’ll hurt you. I hope this is just a start.