Howard Stern. I’ve been listening to pirated mp3’s of the show one day after they air. It’s enjoyable garbage that I shouldn’t stream into my head.
I should get to bed by 11. I’ve been drinking a bit tonight. I’m good at keeping certain aspects of my life together while others deteriorate.
Tonight I hit the gym and then the wine. Lab fucking meeting tomorrow morning. Damnit.
I miss having a girlfriend in my life. I don’t enjoy playing video games because it speeds the passage of time and already I’m too old and too single. I don’t want a kid, but I want to break out of my slothful routine. I need social pressure for this to occur.
I always want to write to people but I don’t anymore.
I don’t know what I want.
jkjlkj
End drunk post.
until i edit it later adding because i feel like crap after looking at heidi’s (gratefulimhere, originally cinnamongirl) page and old entries of mine. the email account where she messaged me before she killed herself died just like she did. and she was the one consoling me.. i shouldn’t drink and do this. i get pulled into a pit of introversion and self loathing. i wish i knew her better. i was still with ****** and didn’t have a cell phone back then. what is wrong with me . I’m restless and unhappy. Goodnight to me.
The Ancient Undergrad 