Why do people believe in God?

Today I let myself shift from agnostic to atheist. Why am I drifting this way? Why not the other way towards faith?

The people that believe… it can be explained with evolutionary theory. A church, mosque, temple, and their associated communities provide a social support structure that helps the people in it have greater survival than those not under their umbrella. Religion encourages and accommodates children and families. I believe that throughout successive generations the people resistant to religion tend to have less children than the religious. That’s not a controversial view. So there are a lot more people today with genes predisposing them to believe.

So then, what about people like me? My grandmother believes… I share 25% of my genes with her… but I get the sense that she doesn’t believe very strongly. I don’t even know if she goes to church anymore. She took me when I was little. I was baptized. I had first communion. My mother made an effort. I hated going. The school made efforts. I went to a Catholic grade and high school. There were school masses. Catholic studies classes. In junior high, grade 8, when it came time to be confirmed into the church I balked at the idea. My mom wanted me to do it. Guilt, and installation of a sense of obligation were applied from all directions. I remember how stressed out I was at the time. I ended up lying about when the ceremony was and skipped it. She was upset but got over it. I think she lied to my grandmother and said I was confirmed.

My father came from a protestant upbringing and never went to church. He and his family are not religious at all. I don’t think I have the mix of genes that predisposes me towards belief.

I think we are complex learning machines. Machines can learn. There is a whole programming field that uses neural networks. It’s based on the concept that thousands of small units working together, making yes or no decisions can learn and adjust to problems. It works because when sensory input is channeled through the incredibly complex network in a way that produces a positive outcome these pathways are reinforced, and will be used next time a similar input is seen. This is how our brains work, except in a more imperfect way. When we think of things in a way that we or others reinforce positively, these neural pathways are developed. This is where our personality comes from, how we respond to what we sense in the world, this is what allows us to imagine and dream, everything.

So what happens when you die? Non-existence? It’s not very comforting to think that this short run of life on this small solitary planet is all we get. I just can’t convince myself that anything else is likely.

What is reality then? How should I know? I’m just an imperfect machine that can’t comprehend… maybe dwelling on this is the the path back towards agnosticism.