I need to start writing again. It grounds me. It helps me focus.

Reading would help too. Those are two things I need to back into. Reading and writing.

Internet reading is not quality reading. It’s way too fragmented. Training my brain with data from this superficial flashy format has destroyed my attention span. I have trouble getting though a simple printed article now.

Post breakup. What am I going to do now?

I’m going to move into a 14 by 14 foot third floor room. It’s on the top level of an old north Cambridge house. My roommate Chris is going to be three years younger at 25. I’ve met him once. He’s a video gamer. My impression was that he’s quiet, a little insecure, and more similar to myself than most.

His roommate Eliza is moving out. The three of us had a little get to know each other conversation at the kitchen table. He asked me meekly if I liked movies, and then comedies. They must have watched movies together. It was clear he was going to miss her. It was as if he was reaching out a scared little paw to me, a complete stranger, and saying with wide eyes, “friend?” I did my best to project to him that I would be a tolerant and friendly roommate.

There’s a good sized kitchen, small bathroom and tiny little study. I thought it was a little strange that their is no common area living room type area.

I’m losing external pressure to be social. The fact that I’m worrying about this isn’t a good sign.

I’ll probably try dating sites. I’ve never really dated. I’m 28 and have had a nine year relationship. My social circle is pathetic. I need to talk to more people, I need to tell stories and laugh with friends. This maybe more than anything is why I am breaking up. With ****** I turned into a lazy little social slug. She did all the work and I got a taste for being selfish with my time. School and work as excuses.

I need to get out there for the first time. Not having a girlfriend should motivate me to do that. It better.