So, things are weird. We’ve broken up but are still living in the same apartment until I can move into my new place. February 1st at the latest.
I feel anxious. She’s not here, she won’t eat supper with me now. Haha. What do I expect? I just hurt her deeply and I expect her to be happy to stick around and be with me?
She said through tears that her love for me was white pure. That hurts, that line will stick with me. I know I am throwing away something special. Something I won’t have with anyone else.
I don’t have anyone here to catch me. I am on my own and all my insecurities feel 100x magnified.
I feel scared.
The Ancient Undergrad 
Whatever hurt she’s feeling now is insignificant in relation to a lifetime with someone who doesn’t want to be in the relationship. You did the best thing for both of you.
I’ve never felt more horrible in my life than in the two months after my last long-term relationship ended when we continued living together. So much anger and bitterness. The sooner you can go your separate ways, the better.
I’m glad you’re writing again.
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