I was a busy busy bee today. I’m tired. This will be a short little nugget of a post but hopefully a shiny one.

There is a paper mill back home in T Bay that my dad works at, previously as a millwright (industrial mechanic) now as a crew leader. It actually might be the largest paper mill in North America, a major employer for the small city. They have a university/college student hiring program that I have taken full advantage of, working there for two summers. Last time around I was paired with an eccentric mole-like man on a rewinding machine. Our job would be to roll these huge damaged rolls of paper off of a little train track, cut out the imperfections and re-wind them on this gargantuan machine. We put little black plugs into the spools of the rolls and wrapped them up for protection too. It was really fun.  Anyway, my partner was a very odd egg indeed. He had a grade four education, a huge pot belly and these half inch thick glasses. He was always telling these colorful sexually aberrant jokes and stories. So goddamn perverted, I’m actually laughing my ass off right now. We got along great though. Hmm, way too much back story for the tiny tale I wanted to tell.

So this one time after we had just finished wrapping a big paper roll, I went to the front of the machine to load the next one, leaving him to pack up the one that had just finished. After a half a minute or so, he called to me, “Hey, JayJay, come check this out!”. So I returned to the back of the machine, and my partner was there, pelvic thrusting into the spool hole of the roll (we called them cores, strong hollow cylinders the paper is wrapped around). He was humping it with intense vigor. I was very used to this type of behaviour and probably just smirked a little and shook my head at the ridiculousness of it. Then he called out again, “Wait wait! this is the best part!” and then he thrust again and the little black plug at the other end of the roll popped out. (thus implying that he had a penis of over a meter in length). I was a little perplexed but it turns out he had just put a broom handle into the core and had used that to push the plug at the other end out. I think he had been waiting weeks for a roll just the right width. A typical little slice of life on the old rewinding machine. Young men (and women I suppose) who work at a paper mill receive a very different type of education. I can’t believe I wrote so much on this stupid little incident.