I am strong and powerful. I see through your false presence, I see clearly and deeply into your heart with ease. You are filled with insecure greed and self-doubt. You are dying. I am alive and strong and you will not strike me down. I am superior and will fight for the truth. Look down on me, I feel no need to acknowledge your insignificant artificial smugness. When I am roused I am a entity so powerful I can change this world with my will alone. What I know would shatter all the schemas in your mind and leave you sobbing like a child. I will wake the hypocrites, I will lead the revolution. I will destroy your religion and show you that your god is dead. I will not weaken and I will not stop.

This culture is sick.

I’ve adapted to it though. We all have. The human brain is marvelous. I am going through life constantly stimulating it with a steady stream of electronic sensory input. TV and computer screens. Music. Video Games. We are a very small step from cutting out all actual flesh and blood person to person interaction. I could pull it off. After graduation, coding as a job from home. grocery deliveries, electronic banking, Internet and telephone for social satisfaction, porn for sexual gratification. It would be sick but I would adapt. You would too. It feels good to have my TV cable unhooked. Tearing and breaking my connection to the Internet would be a lot more painful. I am a Computer Science student.. I could do it though…. maybe.

I tore up the $300 birthday cheque my parents mailed me a few weeks ago. Everytime I glanced at my table where it lay I internally debated cashing it. I could have bought new clothes with it, new gadgets, more meaningless crap to fill my life. It felt intensely satisfying tearing it up. I am surviving on my own. My body is younger and stronger than my dads. That cheque represented labour he had done. They may not realize that there is an extra $300 in their account but I am glad there is. They have given me enough. I need to get my act together and put myself in a position to help them. My dad grew up on a northern lake. I think it is his secret dream to get that cabin back……